Amy Kay

I've realized why I never talk about how i really feel to anyone. It seems whenever I start talking about my feelings, people stop listening and it's really frustrating. If someone is talking to me, I try to give them the best advice that I can and listen to what they have to say. But why is that never returned to me?

This is the second perfect Sunday in a row. I don't know what the deal is but I'm happy about it.

First Rachel and I woke up somewhat early, before noon, and junt hung around Brittany's apartment. She of course didn't wake up at all.

We ended up picking up Chris without Brittany.

Went down to the Hawthrone St. area, I didn't realize why I liked it down there so much until now, it's because it reminds me of Eugene. I loved it.

We walked around a park and then went to a sushi place, one of the ones that has the belt the move the food around the whole room, I've never been to one like that before and it was pretty cheap for how much we ate. I'm proud of myself I tried some new stuff, scallions and octopus.

Then we went to Wonderland, which was this awesome arcade. I forgot how much i sucked at video games, but thats ok I had a good time.

We then went and had ice cream, which was ok. I should have picked a different flavor.

That was about it. We thought we got locked out of Brittany's apartment and she couldn't find out so we were scheming to find a ladder so we could climb in the window but she eneded up having the keys. Thank God.

Now I'm sitting here,alone, in her apartment waiting for her to get back from work so I can give her, her keys so I can drive my ass home.

The drive home alone is going to suck real bad.

So here I am sick, still. I'm really tired of being ill. I've missed 3 days of work and 2 classes which included rescheduling a test. This is when I miss living at home.

Does anyone want to come make me soup and take care of me?

Today was the perfect sunday.

I didn't go anything last night, so I got alot of sleep.

Woke up earlier, went to the boys house and woke everyone up.

Laugher, smoked, drank, hung out. All before noon.

Went and got free pizze, Thank You Mike. 

Went out to Veneta, rocked out to old hippie songs.

Went to the park and played some frisbee. Smoked some pot. 

Went out to eat.

Now I'm sitting at home.

Even though today was great I had this stinky sore throat. I really hope it's just alergies and that I'm not getting sick.....

So it's been a very long time since I've even logged into LiveJournal. Well I may start keeping this more upto date. I don't think anyone reads mine, so I can say whatever I want to say and express all my new frustrations. 

At the moment I'm sitting at home, dying my hair. I'm home alone finally. I don't think anyone realizes how importand their alone/down time is until you live with someone. Especially someone that doesn't drive. 

Well time to wash out my hair and see my new radiant color. Hahahaha.

( Read more... )

I'm officially the most unique person in my high school. Way to go. It was even voted on.

( Read more... )

( Read more... )

Pfft.....fuck this game.

( Read More... )

( Read more... )

After reading over some of my old entries, I kind of miss hanging out with Whitney all the time, and now when I see her we have nothing to say to each other, it's depressing. And I realized how I've changed and that somethings will never change. I'll always fall to quickly for a boy and get hurt, no one will ever comment on my journal entries, I'll always care too much about people that have hurt me, I say always and never too much. I'm not sure what the purpose of this entry is, I guess to vent and have an outlet, to tell varies people I'm sorry.

Joel...I'm sorry I started acting like that again....I want to talk to you but you're no where to be found or just don't want to talk to me either way, I'm sorry and I hope nothing has changed...and I'll be there the middle of Febuary...

Colin..if you're lurking out there I'm sorry I over reacted, I was just insecure about my hair still and yes it's different I wasn't half naked but still. You're advice and opinion mean alot to me, and I'd rather stay friends with you then just say 'out of sight, out of mind'.

Seattle...I didn't leave anything behind that I remember. Again I miss Joel too much [sorry about what happened]. Intense like camping, bling bling heart, undies dance party, mean girls, Oh...peach rings. I wish I was there more often.

YES!! Waking up at 4:30 to go Christmas shopping!! YES!!

I left my mom's gas cap somewhere between Bellingham and Seattle.... </3 I miss Joel already.

I can't believe I hid from him.

( Rip it up, Tear it up, Lick it up, Smash it up. )

( Let's go to the Disco, for Melodrama )

 

I just realized whats wrong with me, why I'm so weird when it comes to relationships. The first guy I thought I loved, even though I had never met him and he lived across the country. Left for almost a year, no e-mail...nothing. Never even tried. I stayed there and hoped he would still love me back when we got back into contact. Well when we did I found out he didn't, he had given up. Quit. After so many months of beating myself up over it and waiting, he wasn't even there. Now I'm scared to death of being forgotten about, being left behind. I ruin relationships because I worry and assume that people don't care about me, and sooner or later they give up. They stop trying to convince me that they do, and they just leave. I'm scared that I'm going to do this to a great guy. I want things to happen so badly that I just fuck it all up.


Other news:


I bought a Nintendo Entertainment System, anyone want to come over and play?


Painted a wall in my room; Deeply Red.


Dying my hair brown tomorrow.


Painting more random furniture neon colors.


Tired of being forgotten, if you want to hang out make some fucking room in your busy fucking life for me. I'm really getting tired of caring and stressing over it. It's total bullshit that you do this. I've tried to make plans but whatever.