People ask me where the Murder City is

its_in_my_heart @ 2007-05-14T09:30:00

2007-05-14T16:32:23Z

I've realized why I never talk about how i really feel to anyone. It seems whenever I start talking about my feelings, people stop listening and it's really frustrating. If someone is talking to me, I try to give them the best advice that I can and listen to what they have to say. But why is that never returned to me?

its_in_my_heart @ 2007-04-22T20:13:00

2007-04-23T03:20:12Z

This is the second perfect Sunday in a row. I don't know what the deal is but I'm happy about it.

First Rachel and I woke up somewhat early, before noon, and junt hung around Brittany's apartment. She of course didn't wake up at all.

We ended up picking up Chris without Brittany.

Went down to the Hawthrone St. area, I didn't realize why I liked it down there so much until now, it's because it reminds me of Eugene. I loved it.

We walked around a park and then went to a sushi place, one of the ones that has the belt the move the food around the whole room, I've never been to one like that before and it was pretty cheap for how much we ate. I'm proud of myself I tried some new stuff, scallions and octopus.

Then we went to Wonderland, which was this awesome arcade. I forgot how much i sucked at video games, but thats ok I had a good time.

We then went and had ice cream, which was ok. I should have picked a different flavor.

That was about it. We thought we got locked out of Brittany's apartment and she couldn't find out so we were scheming to find a ladder so we could climb in the window but she eneded up having the keys. Thank God.

Now I'm sitting here,alone, in her apartment waiting for her to get back from work so I can give her, her keys so I can drive my ass home.

The drive home alone is going to suck real bad.

its_in_my_heart @ 2007-04-18T12:21:00

2007-04-18T19:25:01Z

So here I am sick, still. I'm really tired of being ill. I've missed 3 days of work and 2 classes which included rescheduling a test. This is when I miss living at home.

Does anyone want to come make me soup and take care of me?

Perfect Sunday

2007-04-16T04:18:46Z

Today was the perfect sunday.

I didn't go anything last night, so I got alot of sleep.

Woke up earlier, went to the boys house and woke everyone up.

Laugher, smoked, drank, hung out. All before noon.

Went and got free pizze, Thank You Mike.

Went out to Veneta, rocked out to old hippie songs.

Went to the park and played some frisbee. Smoked some pot.

Went out to eat.

Now I'm sitting at home.

Even though today was great I had this stinky sore throat. I really hope it's just alergies and that I'm not getting sick.....

Long Time

2007-04-14T21:50:02Z

So it's been a very long time since I've even logged into LiveJournal. Well I may start keeping this more upto date. I don't think anyone reads mine, so I can say whatever I want to say and express all my new frustrations.

At the moment I'm sitting at home, dying my hair. I'm home alone finally. I don't think anyone realizes how importand their alone/down time is until you live with someone. Especially someone that doesn't drive.

Well time to wash out my hair and see my new radiant color. Hahahaha.

its_in_my_heart @ 2005-05-20T22:08:00

2005-05-21T05:13:56Z

1941 Cadillac

Hannah at prom....

its_in_my_heart @ 2005-04-20T21:45:00

2005-04-21T04:46:06Z

I'm officially the most unique person in my high school. Way to go. It was even voted on.

its_in_my_heart @ 2005-04-19T18:50:00

2005-04-20T01:59:11Z

its_in_my_heart @ 2005-04-18T22:59:00

2005-04-19T06:04:29Z

its_in_my_heart @ 2005-03-26T23:01:00

2005-03-27T07:02:56Z

Pfft.....fuck this game.

its_in_my_heart @ 2005-01-28T18:59:00

2005-01-29T03:09:09Z

The Last Battle - Davey Jones Locker, Portland, Ore.

its_in_my_heart @ 2005-01-14T15:08:00

2005-01-14T23:17:42Z

People are afraid to merge in Los Angeles

2005-01-06T05:38:35Z

After reading over some of my old entries, I kind of miss hanging out with Whitney all the time, and now when I see her we have nothing to say to each other, it's depressing. And I realized how I've changed and that somethings will never change. I'll always fall to quickly for a boy and get hurt, no one will ever comment on my journal entries, I'll always care too much about people that have hurt me, I say always and never too much. I'm not sure what the purpose of this entry is, I guess to vent and have an outlet, to tell varies people I'm sorry.

Joel...I'm sorry I started acting like that again....I want to talk to you but you're no where to be found or just don't want to talk to me either way, I'm sorry and I hope nothing has changed...and I'll be there the middle of Febuary...

Colin..if you're lurking out there I'm sorry I over reacted, I was just insecure about my hair still and yes it's different I wasn't half naked but still. You're advice and opinion mean alot to me, and I'd rather stay friends with you then just say 'out of sight, out of mind'.

its_in_my_heart @ 2004-12-05T21:47:00

2004-12-06T05:56:56Z

Seattle...I didn't leave anything behind that I remember. Again I miss Joel too much [sorry about what happened]. Intense like camping, bling bling heart, undies dance party, mean girls, Oh...peach rings. I wish I was there more often.

its_in_my_heart @ 2004-11-25T20:31:00

2004-11-26T04:34:13Z

YES!! Waking up at 4:30 to go Christmas shopping!! YES!!

its_in_my_heart @ 2004-10-31T16:10:00

2004-11-01T00:12:36Z

I left my mom's gas cap somewhere between Bellingham and Seattle.... </3 I miss Joel already.

its_in_my_heart @ 2004-10-09T17:58:00

2004-10-10T00:58:57Z

I can't believe I hid from him.

its_in_my_heart @ 2004-09-19T17:45:00

2004-09-20T00:56:01Z

its_in_my_heart @ 2004-08-28T21:18:00

2004-08-29T04:24:17Z

She(my arson)

Fuck all of you.

2004-07-27T05:53:49Z

I just realized whats wrong with me, why I'm so weird when it comes to relationships. The first guy I thought I loved, even though I had never met him and he lived across the country. Left for almost a year, no e-mail...nothing. Never even tried. I stayed there and hoped he would still love me back when we got back into contact. Well when we did I found out he didn't, he had given up. Quit. After so many months of beating myself up over it and waiting, he wasn't even there. Now I'm scared to death of being forgotten about, being left behind. I ruin relationships because I worry and assume that people don't care about me, and sooner or later they give up. They stop trying to convince me that they do, and they just leave. I'm scared that I'm going to do this to a great guy. I want things to happen so badly that I just fuck it all up.

Other news:

I bought a Nintendo Entertainment System, anyone want to come over and play?

Painted a wall in my room; Deeply Red.

Dying my hair brown tomorrow.

Painting more random furniture neon colors.

Tired of being forgotten, if you want to hang out make some fucking room in your busy fucking life for me. I'm really getting tired of caring and stressing over it. It's total bullshit that you do this. I've tried to make plans but whatever.

its_in_my_heart @ 2004-07-19T18:52:00

2004-07-20T01:57:12Z

Your pretty face is going to hell.

its_in_my_heart @ 2004-07-11T14:07:00

2004-07-11T21:09:59Z

I haven't updated, because there is nothing worth saying. I haven't done anything interested since the last time, and I would probably just be bitching about how stupid people are if I did post regularly.

It's ok, I didn't pay for it

2004-06-22T05:36:11Z

I'm really starting to hate this computer, I had a whole post typed out, with pictures and everything, and it fucked it all up. Thanks alot you stupid computer.

Saturday, Whitney and I went to Roseburg to see Athena in Hades, but they had van troubles and showed up at 10:30. After meeting up with them, they followed us to my house. We hung out and eventually went to bed. On Sunday, everyone got up and ready, they followed us up to Portland around 3. We got lost, twice, on the way to Davey Jones Locker. AIH played a really good set, I took some really good photos. I ended up doing their merch, but I sucked and didn't sell anything. After that we hung out for a while, and headed back to Eugene around 10:30. The guys and Mary from AIH are amazing, they are the kind of people I want to be around alot more. Hopefully on their next tour, we can hang out again.

its_in_my_heart @ 2004-06-15T11:18:00

2004-06-15T18:20:44Z

I've never heard a sad song.

I've never heard a sad, sad song that I didn't like.

its_in_my_heart @ 2004-06-06T23:06:00

2004-06-07T06:41:40Z

Goddamnit! I had this long entry and my computer fucked it all up. Who needs a computer, fuck computers.

I'll try to remember.

I'm bored and restless. All of there thoughts are flying through my head, plans are unfolding. But need to be laid in stone. A friendship needs something, I feel like something is missing, but I have hope. I mean we are good friends and things should come back together. And today at Chinese my fortune cookie did say something to the effect of "All wounds heal in time".

So ya. Uhmm...Something about my birthday being in a few weeks. It'll be the first birthday with out my grandpa, I really miss him.

I went to a jewelry party with my mom, and a bunch of ladies from her work were there. And this one taller woman had some visible tattoos and piercings that worked in my mom's office. My mother introduced me to her, and she showed me her tattoos which were pretty cool for a lady maybe being 40 . But I guess the next day this lady, I forget her name, came to my mom and told her how pretty she thought I was. I just thought it was really cool, cause this lady I don;t know, it was weird she had an instant influence on me. But anyway, lately I've been feeling alot better about myself, and more confident. I hope this last and I can become better about things, and not so depressed anymore.

But ya, I'm excited about this proposition from Mortekai. It was fun seeing Athena in Hades last summer and it would be awesome to see them twice and maybe have a slumber party. I hope things are better by then, and we can hang out and actually talk and me not be all stupid and emo about things. I don't want to lose this friend.

Ya.....uhm....I got my black and whites back from the portland trip...some turned out ok I guess....I'll put them up and you can pick them apart.

Obsession with angels....no, it's an obsession with Russians.

I love Jesus Christ.

If you look back through all of my photos, there are a few things in several of them that are similar.

This one would have been better in color.

[edit]: Why does the restless emotion icon has to have tears? Thats so inappropriate for what I'm trying to say in this post.